First off, I must gloat, Leah only woke up last once last night! This was the single best night of sleep I've had in FOREVER! Yeah! I woke up to a phone call from my Mom offering to take Leah for the morning. Yeah! Leah loves going to Grandma's. I get up, get ready, things go smoothly. Scott takes the boys, I take Leah – off we go! I get to my Mom's, she has made me a to go cup of Starbucks – she is so the best Mom ever. I head to work-
Today, I am taking a half day because Scott has a golf outing with his accountants. I get to my Mom's around 12:30, she is about to give Leah a quick dip in the tub. Have I mentioned yet that I have the best Mom ever. Well, I do. We get her changed and into her car seat and I head home. I haven't spent alone time with Leah forever and I am really excited about it. But Leah – eh not so much. She basically sleeps most of the afternoon. She has a doctor appointment at 4:00. She wakes up at 3:30, has a bottle and we head to the pediatrician. She is growing great! 75th percentile for both height and weight.
After the appointment, we pick up Joey and Tyler. This is when things start to get interesting. I am embarrassed to say that this may be the first time that I am going to be home alone with all three kids for an evening. I'm no fool, usually when I know that Scott won't be around, I make a point to get myself invited to my parents house for dinner. Have I mentioned today how great they are? Anyway, tonight, the parents are not available, so it's me against them.
Getting in the house – this topic deserves its own segment, because I am sure people wonder, how do you do this? Well, here you go – We live in a raised ranch, meaning that the garage is situated under the house and you must climb stairs to get to the front door. This is not an ideal situation for a Mom of three kids ages 2 and under. Here is the game plan, grab the baby in the infant carrier and Tyler run up the stairs, put Tyler in his crib with a toy or two, baby on the counter. Then back down the stairs, get Joey and the diaper bag, climb back up the stairs and we are in. And I am out of breath.
First word out of Joey's mouth "Bugs" This means he wants to watch A Bugs Life, which is cool with me cause I need to cook some dinner. But I don't want to use up all my easy distractions early, so I tell him that first we are going to play for while. He harrumphs, but agrees, heads to his toys. I head to the pantry – what do we have? Not much, but I find a box of Shake and Bake and grab some chicken breasts. Easy Peasy. I turn around and there's Joey demanding I pick him up. Okay, I get him up, he grabs the Shake and Bake out of my hands, I try to grab back. Not sure if you have ever played this game but it is rather trying. Joey twists his arm behind his back, I am holding him with my right hand and with my left I try to reach around him to get at the box. But he is flailing his arm about and it's just not gonna happen, so I put him down. A high-speed chase around the island ensues. After about three laps I have him trapped, I grab the box, he hits the floor and starts writhing around. This is ridiculous. I get the damn Shake and Bake and put it on the counter.
Joey looks up and say "Bugs"
OKAY! You win, Bugs it is. I go to the DVD player and start the movie. You may be wondering where my other two kids are during all this – Leah is still in the car seat, Tyler is eating cheerios at his table. Hmmm, who put those Cheerios there and better question when? Interesting.
Bugs is on, I am making dinner. Shake and Bake is the BEST easy dinner. Seriously, I was done prepping in like 5 minutes. Then they bake for 30 minutes and done. I got some peas out of the freezer . It's 5:30, dinner will be ready at 6, this is going great Time to relax.
Fifteen minutes goes by rather quietly, then as I suspected, Bugs has lost its allure and both the kids are at my feet, one grabbing each leg, whining to be picked up. Joey, not liking the competion here, pushes Tyler to the ground, Tyler bursts in to tears. Time Out Joey.
After time out, I decide I need a new distraction. So, I bring out the Wonder Colors. This is the best Crayola product ever invented, I'm quite certain. Anyway, I put Ty in his highchair and Joey at his table. They both have markers and paper and seem once again content. I head over to get Leah out of the car seat – yeah she's still there. I walk over to check the boys. Tyler seem a we bit confused about the coloring concept and has the marker cap off, marker in mouth. Ew. I hope these are non-toxic. I take the marker out of his mouth and show him how to color. Weird, because we've done this before, he knows how to do it. Joey asks for some juice. Okay – I put Leah down and go to mix him some juice. I come back and there is Ty, sucking on his marker again. Okay, I REALLY hope these are non-toxic. I give him one more chance. Two minutes later, back in his mouth. Ugh, coloring time for Ty is over. Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes, I don't want to take him out of his chair, so I give him some juice and a cheerios and start getting plates ready. As I'm doing this, Joey comes over with all his markers in hand and tells me he is "Done". I put the markers away.
Joey says "pee pee". Okay, let's go pee pee. I put Leah in her bouncer and I take him to the bathroom. I take off his pants and diaper and he sits on the potty. Joey has this thing where whenever he goes potty, I have to go potty too, so we are sitting on our respective pottys, and Joey is making a weird face. I don't think he's going potty, nope, he's not, it's my lucky night. Joey jumps off the potty and yell "Poo Poo!". Yay! Lucky me! I get to clean poop out of the potty. I'll spare you the details. I finally get Joey back in a diaper. We skip the pants. He wants to play with his toys in his room. So I take down a few toys and he is playing with Mr. Potato head. I go get dinner onto plates. I let the food cool and serve Ty, since he's already seated. Joey has discovered the Fisher Price Peekaboo Train and is LOVING playing with it. He won't get into his chair for dinner. Oh well, pick your battles Tara, pick your battles. Joey plays, Tyler eats, Leah is content in the bouncer, I am still alive.
Are you tired yet?
Joey eventually gets in his chair to eat, but won't eat until I take his shirt off. Um, OK. Ty is done, but I am kind of liking having him in his highchair, so I cut up some strawberries. This contains him for a while, but soon, the jig is up, Ty wants down – NOW. I clean him up and get him down. He immediately starts playing with the Peek a Boo Train this is going to be trouble. Leah starts to cry a little, it's time for her bottle. Joey's in his chair, Tyler is playing, Leah is eating, and this is going okay.
Joey doesn't eat much, tells me he's done, I put Leah in the bouncer, I let him down and wash his hands. He immediately goes after Tyler for the train. Time Out Joey. I take this opportunity to put Tyler's pajamas on. Okay, everyone, let's play. I bring Leah and her bouncer into the boys room and we all play with the toys. This lasts for about 15 minutes before the fighting and pushing starts and playtime ends. I am getting desperate for entertainment.
Leah needs a diaper change, so I grab her and bring her back to the nursery, the boys follow. While I am trying to change her, Tyler is hanging on my right leg, Joey is trying to climb the table and swat at Leah, I say no, both boys start crying and whining, I am LOSING it. I get Leah dressed again. It's 7:00 and I don't know how much longer I can do this, it's time to call in reinforcements. I try to call my Mom. Here's how the conversation goes:
Me: Hey Mom, are you still at Grandma's
Mom: Yes, do you need help? (she knows me so well)
Me: Weellll, I just thought, um, maybe, if you wanted to come over for a little…I mean you don't have to or anything, I'm fine, but, if you want to. (translation – pretty, pretty puh-leeeez come help me – I iz dying here)
Mom – Okay, let me clean up and see if I can't get out of here.
We head back into the living room, I put Leah in her car seat. I put on a Kids Songs CD and start dancing spastically to B-I-N-G-O. Joey finds this amusing, the neighbors I'm sure find it hilarious, Tyler is not impressed, but I keep on trying. I dance in vain to 3 straight kids songs, trying to get the boys to dance along, chase me, anything, just please don't hit each other. Joey seems like he might take the bait, but Tyler is still standing next to the DVD player saying "Mo, Mo". This means that Tyler wants to watch Finding Nemo. I really don't want to put in another movie. But, then again, is it that bad, really, I mean, they'll only watch for a half hour, it's almost bed time, I could really use a break, and dancing around like a chicken on crack isn't really doing the trick. So, Nemo it is. Both boys enter into their Nemo trance, I go check on Leah, she's asleep. I call my Mom:
Me: Hey Mom, everything is now under control, no need to come over. Thanks though.
Mom: Well, let me finish here and I'll call back and check on you.
Me: Okay, thanks.
Have I mentioned yet that I have THE BEST MOM EVER
Oh, and have I mentioned that I love these fish:
Scott gets home about 15 minutes later. It's 7:30 - Joey is running around in just his diaper, Tyler is sitting in his chair with a bottle of milk and me and Leah are laying on the couch, both clearly spent.
Scott gets Joey into his PJ's. Cleans the kitchen and gets Joey to bed. Tyler refuses to sleep he is crying, inconsolable. Leah is crying. I go to Walgreens to get some Infant Tylenol because we are out and I think Ty might be teething and Leah had shots today. But by the time I get back, everyone seems cool so, I don't even bring it out.
It's 9:00, I put Tyler to bed. And I hit the sack myself. Today was a hard day.
Don't mess with these two - you won't win.
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